“A little marijuana warms the heart, but too much burns the soul,” said one special toker somewhere. Micah Nathan of Vanity Fairgives us the how-to of how-to’s with his list of ten rules to keep in mind for the perfect smoke session in “A Nice Bowl of Weed.” Extraneous rules like smoking with your significant other and watching movies are a given, but remember to make sure you’ve seen the movie sober before making any recommendations to your friends.

1. “Choose Cannabis Sativa over Cannabis Indica.”
Choosing strains like Pure OceanGrown Kush, and Ocean Grown Cannabis Cigarettes are the best choice for maintaining an uplifting rejuvenating experience rather than Indicas’ that can make you couch-locked and not able to grab the chips (there so far away).

2. “Choose strong weed and taste samples.”
Here in California, sampling isn’t always an option, so opt for quality lab tested meds to see just how much THC it contains, also testing for pests and mold is always a good idea, we feel.

3. “Smoke out of a wooden pipe and avoid small glass pipes.”
Obviously, only to maintain the most distinguishable appearance.

4. “Roll the perfect joint.”
Micah recommends no more than 3grams per, but obviously…to each is their own.

5. “Forget bongs.”
But, but… We can’t forget!

6. “Finely chop your weed with a kitchen knife to avoid losing kief in grinder, and avoid losing potency.”
We’re not sure if we entirely agree with this recommendation, but a good grinder that is properly taken care of, and cleaned frequently shouldn’t do your experience any harm.

7. “Choose your smoking companions wisely.”
Smoking marijuana can enhance your pre-existing mood. Choose people who are going to compliment the experience, and not take away from it.

8. “If paranoia strikes, retreat to a warm stable environment.”
Remember, no one has yet to overdose on marijuana, and most medical professionals agree it’s virtually impossible.

9. “Vaporization is the exception to the rule that the oldest ways are often the best ways.”
Vapor is king. Choosing a Volcano or a mobile apparatus is superior to smoke in your lungs, and produces a long lasting effect.

10. “Lastly, eat marijuana with caution.”
Make sure you know how many grams of marijuana are in any edible you plan on consuming. Always start small! The key to edibles is staring small and then waiting. If it’s been more than an hour and you feel no effects try dosing a bit more.

Read the full article at Vanity Fair: http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/2015/02/10-rules-for-smoking-weed and tell us in the comments whether you agree with his rules or not! What are some of your favorite mantras for the perfect smoke session?